


Just to See You

by DawnsEternalLight



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind! Fic, Bonding, Brotherly Bonding, Damian Wayne Feels, Dick Grayson is a good big brother, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Temporary Blindness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 05:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12763860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnsEternalLight/pseuds/DawnsEternalLight
Summary: Damian is struck blind temporarily and while he is recovering Grayson makes it very hard for Damian to keep his promise to himself not to be a burden and rely on his brother.





	Just to See You

Damian was not having a good day. In fact, he was quickly coming to the conclusion that this day would rank in his top ten of the worst days. Well, perhaps not the top ten, but first being attacked by an insane wizard, and then being pronounced ‘blind until further notice’ was enough to rank at least his top fifteen. Perhaps it hit eleven.

“Thanks so much for your help, Zatanna, if there’s anything I can do to repay you--” Grayson was cut off by the woman’s response.

“It was nothing, half of this mess is my fault anyway.” she said.

Damian could feel her looking over at him. He could almost picture the sad turning down of her lips and the bit of regret in her eyes. He wanted to bury himself in the blankets of the medical cot or run from the room. Perhaps even turn and hide his face in Grayson’s chest, his brother was liable to pull him there any instant anyway. Instead he sat up a bit straighter, and tried to look as unaffected as possible. He would not seem weak in front of this woman, especially not now.

“Still, thank you. I don’t know what we would have done if you weren’t here to help us figure this out.”

There was a pause, Damian assumed was her nodding before a her hand found a place on Damian’s shoulder, “It’ll be alright, you know. You could wake up tomorrow and see.” she said.

“Or next month.” Damian grumbled. “Either way, it is an inconvenience I would rather do without.”

Grayson’s arm around his shoulders tightened, and Damian felt himself be tugged tightly into Grayson’s side “At least it’s not worse.”

“Again, I’m sorry.” There was a wince in Zatanna’s voice, “Let me know if you have any more problems.” With that there was the sound of a pop and a smoky scent drifted over to them, leading Damian to believe the magician had left.

Grayson’s hand on his arm began to rub up and down in soothing motions, Damian held onto that feeling as much as he’d been holding onto any sense of touch. It felt like it was all that was anchoring him in place.

“We’ll make the best of it, kiddo. I promise.”

“Tt.” Damian responded, unwilling to trust any words further.

Yes, it could have been worse. It could have been much worse. Damian and Grayson’s roles could have been switched. That had been the mad wizard’s intention after all, when he’d flung the spark of green energy Nightwing’s way. Damian had prevented it, throwing himself into his brother’s shoulder and taking the blast himself. For a moment he’d even felt proud, as the energy had seemed to do nothing to him, then everything had gone black and Damian’s whole world seemed to fall away.

Still, it was better he deal with it than Grayson.

Grayson had responsibilities, and a life beyond school work and vigilantism. He was also currently filling in for Father, a task both he and Damian had been excited for until tonight. Now Damian was left with a cold pit of fear thinking of his brother’s returning to patrol, alone. He hated the thought of someone else stepping in to assist Grayson, but he knew that he would not be allowed to join his brother, and what good could he do him? He might be able to fight blind for a while, but spending an entire patrol that way was a different matter. He would only be a burden.

Damian did not want to be a burden.

“Let’s call Bruce and let him know what happened, and then I say we both get some sleep.” Grayson said.

His arm pulled away and Damian had to resist the urge to ask him to keep it there. He felt alone, and lost, much in the same way he had standing on that rooftop. He was in a pool of darkness with no anchor besides the cot underneath him.

Then hands were at his sides helping him down and he scowled. “I do not need assistance getting off the cot, Grayson.”

“Right, of course.” his brother said, and the moment he was on the ground the hands were gone.

Damian hated himself for complaining. But he could not be weak. He could not become a person who needed to rely on Grayson’s assistance for every little thing, especially if this curse dragged on for a month. He would have to be self sufficient and not weigh down his family with neediness. He could endure a month alone. He had dealt with worse before.

Damian was unsure where he was. He could picture the cave in his mind, but he did not know in what direction he had been placed on the cot or which Grayson had pulled him off of. Was he closer to the computer or to an edge where he may fall? He usually had a good sense of direction, but he was turned around from being moved and Zatanna’s examination of him. Flustered was a word Grayson would use. Damian did not like being flustered.

His brother’s hand caught his, and he heard the easy smile in his brother’s voice, “Come on, the sooner we tell Bruce what’s up, the sooner we can get some rest. Everything’ll be better in the morning.”

He was led to the computer where Grayson lifted him into his lap with an apology, and flimsy explanation of ‘so Bruce can see us both’. Damian did not argue, he was too happy to be anchored. Then the video call was started and Damian found himself wanting to squirm away again. He did not know how Father would react, and he didn’t want to hear the disappointment in his father’s voice. He was supposed to watch Grayson’s back while Father was away, and he could no longer do that. Even if Grayson had not been injured, Damian had failed in his duty.

Father answered the call, and Damian missed most of the conversation as he tried to make sure he did not look as embarrassed or frustrated as he was feeling. He tried to keep his breathing even, his attention at the screen (as best as he could) and his body relaxed. He only picked up on pieces of the conversation, Zatanna asking for help, the magician, Damian, the word temporary.

“I’ll cancel the rest of this trip and head back.”

This snapped Damian out of his worry. “No.” He said, “You do not have to do that.”

Grayson’s arm around his middle tightened a bit, “Damian it’s okay.” he said.

“It’s not a problem. You need me more than I’m needed here.” Father added.

Damian bit his lower lip. Father should not need to cut his business short. And Grayson should have a partner by his side. Damian should not be blind. He should have done something else on patrol, been quicker or anything. Because of his failure he was ruining everything.

“I will be fine, Father. There is no need for you to change your plans.” he said, his chest tightening even as he said it.

He did not want to be a burden, but the thought of being alone in the manor with everyone else busy was not a good one. He clenched his fists in his lap. He would not ask Pennyworth to keep a constant eye on him, and Grayson did not have plans to camp out with him the entire time Father was away. He had work, and obligations. He was simply coming by in the evenings. Even Drake was gone for a long period with friends. Having Father home would at least give Damian someone else to be around.

“Damian,” Father’s voice was gentle, “I know I don’t have to, but would you like me to come home?”

Damian’s nails were digging into the palms of his skin. “Yes.” he said, and hated himself for the weakness. “Though, only if it is not too much trouble.” he added.

“I’ll be back in forty eight hours.” Father said.

Grayson finished the call and rolled the chair back away from the consol. Damian let out a breath, and one of Grayson’s hands squeezed his arm before he helped Damian down again. This time he did not argue, and his hand was taken quickly.

“Will you come see me tomorrow before patrol?” Damian asked, once they were back upstairs and Grayson was helping him into his bed.

There was a moment of silence that made Damian’s stomach jump into his throat, and then Grayson spoke.

“I was planning to stick around until your sight comes back, if that’s alright?”

Damian nodded, and swallowed. He did not want to trouble Grayson, but if the man was offering he would not refuse him. He knew his brother well enough to know an outright refusal would be hurtful. Damian did not want to do that to him.

“That would be acceptable.” he said.

* * *

The blindness dragged on a week and Damian hated it. He hated that it caused him to stumble and trip over anything in his path. Hated that he could not tell the time or even know if it was day or not when he woke. He hated all the inconveniences it imposed on him.

What he hated most, however, was how it was forcing everyone to take care of him. Grayson had refused to return to patrol without him, even after Damian insisted he take Todd along. He had stuck like glue to Damian’s side, never babying him but he’d put everything on hold and just the thought made Damian want to throttle the wizard. Father was patrolling, but he spent more time home than at the office. Even Pennyworth was making special allowances for Damian.

He had only been trying to help. He had done his best. He’d protected his partner from an attack and now everything had turned on it’s end. Damian was not injured, not in the traditional sense. He did not want to be a burden, and yet he had become one in the course of one decision.

Damian buried his face in Titus’s side and huffed. “At least you do not baby me.” he said, a hand scratching at the dog’s ears.

Titus responded by leaning into the attention and Damian let himself smile. He had finally convinced Grayson to leave him alone for a little while, and he was enjoying a bit of time to himself. Well mostly enjoying it. Stupid intrusive thoughts continued to seep in through his attempts at simply being trying to convince him that he might never see again and that he was bothering Grayson with his neediness.

He closed his eyes, even though it didn’t change anything, and shifted his head against Titus’s side. Opening his face up to the sun pouring in through his window. Intent on ignoring the thoughts. He’d made Grayson open the blinds before he left so he could enjoy the warmth coming in. That, at least, was something he could appreciate about losing his sight. Everything felt different and the same. Titus’s fur was softer, the sun’s warmth was a bit like a comforting blanket. Even being close to Grayson, was new and yet familiar.

Damian’s chest hitched thinking of Grayson. He had monopolized the man’s time. Clinging to him like a child. Doing everything he had promised himself he wouldn’t do. He was supposed to be dealing with this on his own. Being strong for everyone. It was only temporary after all.

At last he almost dozed off curled up on the floor. His headphones in his ears were playing soft piano music, and the sun had seemed to seep past his skin and into his bones, warming him to the point he could have been tucked in bed. Titus had settled in for his own nap, apparently happy to have Damian resting against him. It was calm and peaceful when he heard a knock at the door.

“Dames?” Grayson’s voice filtered in.

Damian lifted an arm and waved it, hoping his brother could see it beyond his bed and by his window. He was too comfortable to move, plus he was in too good a mood to ruin it tripping over some toy Titus had moved onto his floor he couldn’t see. If Grayson wished him to go anywhere with him he’d have to convince Damian to move. He tugged the headphones out of his ears and wrapped them around his hand to pocket.

He listened to his brother walk in, and crouch next to him, the fabric of his clothes rustling together as he moved. Grayson was always the first to initiate contact, so Damian wouldn’t fumble in search of his arm or hand, but this time he simply sat or crouched next to him.

“This is a good spot.” he said.

Damian nodded. “I have always enjoyed it.”

He wanted to reach out and find his brother’s hand, but resisted. That would be clinging again. It would be latching himself to the man, and he was trying to give him room. Even Grayson seemed to be attempting to give him space. Damian hoped that he had not pushed his brother beyond his patience.

“Listen, I know you wanted some time alone, but I was thinking that maybe we could take a walk or something, you know to get you moving more than just hanging out in here.”

Damian swallowed back a retort. He’d been hiding in his room mostly because it was a place with little risk of him falling. He knew it better than the rest of the manor, and thus he required less help in it than moving around the building. Here he was less of a burden, anywhere else he was ‘at risk’. Grayson had not said the words to him, but they had been implied well enough by everyone’s constant hovering.

“Can we stay inside?” Damian suggested.

“Of course.” Grayson said, a note of disappointment in his voice.

Damian shifted, turning to face him. He still hadn’t gotten over the idea that turning his head wouldn’t result in seeing his brother’s face. He ignored the pain in his chest at still seeing black.

“I did not mean I don’t want to leave here. Why don’t we go to the living room and you can put on a movie? I believe the sun is also coming in by the couches in there right now.”

“I think you’re right.” Grayson said, “Want me to help you up?” he asked.

Damian shook his head, and sat up all the way. “I can manage it. Just let me know if Titus has left his tennis ball on the floor anywhere again.”

The animal in question whined at Damian’s removing of his head from his side. Damian reached out and patted him on the side.

“You may join us if you’d like, Titus.” he said.

A wet nose butted his hand a moment before Titus licked his palm. Damian smiled and gave him a final pat before standing. He heard the jingle of Titus’s tags as he followed his action, and pressed himself against Damian’s legs, much like Alfred might if he had been in the room.

He felt Grayson’s hand brush his in a request to take it or not. He was tempted, but that fear that he’d pushed things too far, that he’d become too reliant on his family made him close his fist, and take Titus’s collar with his other hand instead.

Grayson hummed and started walking just in front of Damian. Damian heard him kick something gently out of the way and smiled at the knowledge that Titus had in fact dragged a toy in the room in hopes of playing with it.

Only once they’d made it down the stairs and were close to the living room Damian released Titus’s collar. He’d been holding onto it mostly for stability as they walked, and not so much to lead the dog anywhere, but he was confident enough in the layout of the living room to attempt to make it to the couch on his own, plus Titus had begun to get antsy under his hold, shifting and pulling wanting to go in different directions.

“I was thinking about putting on a musical or maybe a disney movie? Something with lots to listen to.” Grayson said, his voice was a bit further off than Damian expected it to be, and he guessed the man had moved ahead to set up the movie.

“That’s fine.” Damian said, pausing as his feet moved from wood to the thick rug pulled across the living room floor.

He curled his socked toes in it, feeling the corded fibers even through the fabric of his socks. It was ten steps from the start of the rug to the couch. He could handle ten steps without running into anything. Especially if he took it carefully.

He counted each as he walked, Grayson chattering about the pros and cons of old musicals versus the new ones in the background of his attention. He was at six when he thought he could up his pace and hurry forward onto the couch. Grayson’s talk had changed to a decision and he would be turning soon. Damian did not want him to see the snail's pace at which he was moving and assume he needed help.

In his hurry his foot caught on the leg of a coffee table and Damian tumbled forward with a cry, catching himself on the table by luck before he hit the ground.

“I am fine.” he said, hoping to stop any worry before it started. “I simply stubbed my toe.” and he had, his big toe was throbbing from it’s punishing fight with the leg.

He ignored the pain. It was tiny on the scale of things he dealt with, but in the blackness with his brother looking on it felt huge, like his foot had been cut off instead of bumped. The pain had brought surprising tears to his eyes that he also fought back. He was not a child who would cry over hitting his toe. He was Robin and a Wayne, he was above even considering toe stubbing.

He righted himself, and moved to take a step back but stumbled into the table once again, this time missing anything to catch himself on and landing on his back. The air rushed out of him on contact and if he could see he’d say his vision was spinning. As it was, he felt dizzy in a strange kind of absent way. Like vertigo, but with the firm knowledge he was touching the ground. And his stupid toe was still hurting.

Damian’s chest ached, and it wasn’t because he’d fallen. He refused to let it be because he fell. Hot, vicious tears pricked at his eyes, threatening to betray his frustration. He’d only been trying to get to the couch on his own. In a room he supposedly knew well, a room he should know even better after a week of trying to find his way through it. If he couldn’t even manage this how could he handle anything else? What if his blindness lingered on past a month? What if Zatanna was wrong and it was permanent? Damian did not think he could be strong for much longer, he wasn’t sure he was being strong now. He certainly wasn’t as independent as he’d hoped to be.

“Damian!”

Damian held up his hand to signal he was okay, but didn’t say anything. His throat was tight and those stupid tears were still trying to escape. He sat up, trying to force the tears back and not sniffle. One sniffle would send Grayson running to him, worry etched across his face. And while Damian could not see it, he would know it was there, and hate himself for putting it there. He could do this. He could manage. He was fine.

He pushed himself to his feet and just breathed. He had no way of knowing what he looked like. But his face felt hot. His eyes itched. His nose was even starting to stuff against the tears. He needed to control himself. Control his emotions. Not worry Grayson.

Then he was in arms, being lifted and pressed against a chest. One hand already tangled in his hair, the other on the small of his back. Damian could not hold the frustration or fear or any of it in anymore. Not when Grayson already seemed to know. He always knew. Who was Damian to attempt to hide the things raging inside him? His brother could read him better than anyone.

He didn’t argue or fight or even squirm. He was too tired. Too tired of trying, of pushing everything down. So he threw his arms around Grayson’s middle and pressed his face close to his brother’s chest, breathing in the scent of Pennyworth’s favorite fabric softener, and the warm smell of Grayson’s preferred cologne. The lighter and heavier smells mingling to be Grayson.

He sniffled, scrubbing the back of his hand across his eyes to push away the stray tears that had escaped. He might be giving into Grayson’s hold but he didn’t have to cry, even if it’s the only thing he wanted to do. Even if it’s what the pressure in his chest was telling him to try. Even if he knew it would make him feel better.

“It’s alright,” Grayson’s voice soothed. “Everything is going to be fine.”

Damian did not deserve Grayson’s sympathy. He was being weak. A fool. A baby. Mother would have punished him for even a sniffle. This display was embarrassing. He could do better than this.

It was all his fault anyway.

He had done this to himself. He had not been fast enough to protect Grayson properly. If he had neither of them would be dealing with is loss of vision. And now he was dragging both himself and his brother down. He couldn’t. He couldn’t keep doing this.

He ignored the pressing tightness in his chest and throat and unwound his arms from Grayson’s chest to push at him. “I am fine.” he said, and even he could hear the lie in his voice.

Grayson hummed, “I don’t think so.”

Damian scowled at him, “I am. And, even if I am not, it should not be your duty to fix it. This is all my fault anyway. I should be able to handle an extended period of blindness.”

Grayson’s arm around his back tightened, pulling him closer, and his hand in Damian’s hair pressed his head forward again to tuck him close, “You are not fine, and this is not your fault.” he said before pressing a kiss to the top of Damian’s head, “I don’t know how you got that silly idea stuck in your head, but now that I know I’m not letting go until I’m sure I’ve changed your mind.”

Damian could feel those traitorous tears welling up again, and his careful hold on the tightness in his chest loosened at Grayson’s words.

“It is.” he said, the words catching on unspilled tears. “I failed you.”

“Not true.” Grayson told him, “You did the opposite.”

Damian shook his head, “I may have prevented the curse from hitting you, but you are still dealing with it either way. If I had done something different then I would not be taking up so much of your time. I would not be a burden.”

Damian had not said the word in the days he’d thought it, and now that he had it was like he couldn’t escape it. The threatening tears finally escaped.

“And now,” he hiccuped, “I am only making things worse. It would be best for you to leave me to work this out on my own.”

That was the last thing he wanted. But he also did not want to continue to weigh his brother down with his problems. Damian had lost all control over his emotions and he could not reign them in well enough to put on a brave front for Grayson. He could not make Grayson smile in this state, and how dare he cause his brother to feel anything other than happy? But he was tired so tired of being strong, and all he wanted was to cry in his brother’s arms until all his held back tears were gone and peace settled over him. All he wanted was Grayson to tell him it was going to be okay, to remind him this wasn’t permanent.

He felt Grayson’s lips press against his temple, his brother’s warm breath tickling the hair there, “It’s okay. It’s not the end of the world if you cry. I thought I taught you that?”

Damian sniffled, “This is my fault.”

“I told you it’s not. I chose to stay here with you. I chose to stick close. I wanted to do all those things for you, Damian. Not because I blame you for taking the curse for me, but because I love you and I’m worried about you. I want you to be as comfortable as possible while you’re dealing with this.”

Damian tried to push away again, and felt Grayson’s forehead touch his, “Please? Let me comfort you?”

And he couldn’t keep fighting. He couldn’t. Everything he tried made it worse. And Grayson knew. He always knew. He wouldn’t be happy until Damian was. So he pushed forward into Grayson’s chest and sobbed. He cried as Grayson moved them to the couch, and as he was shifted into a cradle against his brother’s chest. As he curled there, safe in warm arms, and under soft words. The tears ebbed as Grayson dragged a blanket over them both, tucking him close, and finally, finally Damian’s chest stopped hurting. All the while Grayson soothed him, hand rubbing at his back, or untangling his hair. His words ever so gentle, and everything he’d wanted to hear.

They laid together long enough for Damian to calm down, and for peace to ease it’s way back into him, leaving him sleepy and lethargic. So much so that he let his brother baby him the rest of the day. Or maybe he simply let himself be taken care of. Either way, he stopped trying to do everything on his own. He sat snuggled next to Grayson on the couch, listening to his brother’s favorite movies, and making fun of the dialogue even as Grayson laughed about it. He gave himself an easy day, and let Grayson make it easier on him. By the end of the night he was tired and happy enough to let Grayson carry him back upstairs to bed.

“You don’t mind me staying again, do you?” Grayson asked, tucking him in.

Damian yawned, “I do not believe my sight will return just yet, but I also don’t mind waking up with you near. It is good to have someone act as my alarm clock.” he teased.

Grayson chuckled, “Good. Because I was planning to sneak back in if you tried to send me off again.”

Damian rolled his eyes, happy that he did not need to see to show the action and settled back against his pillows, “You may lay down with me if you want. It cannot be comfortable to sit in a chair.”

That seemed to be all the permission his brother needed to hop up and join him in the bed, pulling Damian close to him. It was nice, laying there like that with someone to remind him he wasn’t alone. He’d had Titus or Alfred sleep with him most nights, but there was a difference in having one of the animals close by and his brother.

They could not tell him everything would be okay if he woke up from a nightmare. Neither could they remind him he was safe and at home when he opened his eyes to darkness. It had only taken one nightmare and bout of confusion to convince Grayson to stay close to him while he slept, and as much as Damian had wanted his brother to get rest, he could not help but enjoy the comfort of having someone close.

The next morning Damian woke up slowly. He didn’t bother opening his eyes just yet, it would do no good either way. The bed was warm, even without Grayson beside him. He guessed his brother had woken earlier and left to get coffee. He was confident that Grayson would not be gone for long. He never missed a chance to be by Damian when he woke. Something sentimental about ‘wanting to be the first thing he saw’ when his vision came back.

“I can see your eyelids fluttering.” Grayson’s voice was quiet, so he hadn’t left, but was just sitting close.

Damian sighed and cracked one eye open, then the other because he couldn’t believe what was happening. There, before him sat Grayson with a small smile on his face. He had a cup of coffee cupped in his palms. Everything was clear, in color, and so normal. Damian blinked. Was he dreaming? No, he wouldn’t dream this.

He could not stop the grin from slipping up against his cheeks. Grayson’s eyes caught his and they widened.

“Hello, Grayson.” Damian said, sitting up.

The mug was hastily set aside before Grayson leaned forward, scooping Damian up and out of the bed, catching some blankets in his hold as well before pulling him close, laughter on his lips.

“I bet you're happy I insisted on being the first one here.” his brother said, pulling back so he could look at Damian, and so Damian could look at him.

“I am not unhappy about it.” Damian said, unable to curb the smile on his face.

“Good.” Grayson said, and Damian couldn’t help but agree.


End file.
